Friday, June 25, 2010


Greetings, if anyone's out there. The Gas Nazi has not felt like himself lately. (Of course, he hasn't felt like anyone else, either.) He's felt tired, worn-out, angry, sad, burned-out, overworked -- but mostly REALLY tired -- in short, like even MORE of a challenge to deal with than he usually is. Don't take my word for it -- ask the people who have to live and work with me!
This has significantly slowed down production of posts chronicling the Nazi's outrageous misadventures here, and for that I apologize. The past few days the Nazi has felt a little better, and so he plans to get Right Back At This Stuff Immediately.
There is also some hope on the horizon: The Nazi has projected his first real vacation in nearly 7 years for the second week of July. God willing, the Nazi plans to make a quick visit back home to Idaho to see his family. If the Nazi is barred from taking this vacation, There Will Be Screaming.
If I DO go on vacation, I plan to take my World's Smallest Laptop with me to perhaps blog a bit about the Great American Wasteland, my old hometown.
Other good news: The weather has improved a great deal here in beautiful, green Western Washington. The last few days have brought actual prolonged sunshine and temperatures in the low 70s. This is about 2 months overdue. Occasional glimpses of sunshine may be why the Nazi feels a little better.
Only downside to the improving weather is that it seems to bring out even more weirdos than usual. Just tonight I had what appeared to be a brain-dead, inbred brother-&-sister comedy team who tried to buy cigarettes without ID & who reacted to everything I said with a goggle-eyed stare of incomprehension. English is SUCH a tough language. To hell with them.
Last weekend marked several firsts for the Nazi: Sometime after dark last Friday night a slimy, hairy, skinny, distracted, homeless-looking guy stumbled through the front door & then spent 30 minutes shooting-up in the bathroom, leaving behind a used syringe and a handful of bloody paper towels.
Discovering this was a first for me in nearly 7 years of putting up with people's awful bathroom leftovers. (See the "SHIT!" entry below.) True, the guy MAY have been a diabetic. But he didn't ACT like a diabetic. He acted like a junkie.
Later the same night, a guy on a bicycle tried to steal a 12-pack of beer from the store -- running for it when I turned my back on him for 10 seconds while he argued on the phone with his credit-card company, who had declined his purchase. At first I didn't even realize he'd ran. Then when it dawned on me & I looked out the window, all I could see were little beer cans scattered across the parking lot. Apparently the idiot had crashed on his bike while trying to make his getaway & lost half of his beer. So I six-packed what was left & called it good. This was the first time someone had tried to steal beer from me in a couple of years.
And tomorrow night will be a full-moon Friday. Can't hardly wait.
If anybody out there is following the Nazi's adventures, there are a few things I have planned to rant and rave about:
* Why a sense of humor is essential to a job like mine -- and how I've pretty much lost mine.
* Drunks! Why we can't stay in business without them, & why I can't seem to get along WITH them.
* Screaming Fits! Or: Notorious Assholes I Have Known. In what other job do total strangers scream at you about things you can't control?
* The Gas Nazi's 10 Commandments.
...and more, more, lots, lots more.
Coming soon. I promise.

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